Being a teammate

Teams. Cooperation. Participation. Engagement.  Work.

As I start the new school year next week, I want to commit to a theme: teamwork.  I want students to know HOW to work in a group, WHY it's important, and WHAT to do if something doesn't go the way it's expected.  Of course, they will need to be held accountable for their individual goals, but I want a feeling of collective ownership in the class.

One of the ways I was thinking of introducing this is with "Lessons from the Geese."  In one of the *yawn* countless professional developments I've attended, this one stuck with me for some reason.  It goes like this:

I want the class to use more "we" statements, rather than "I" statements.  I want them to get somewhere together.  Celebrate each other's successes.  We'll see how it goes.

At home, our different personalities sometimes clash.   It's been nice to help the boys get started in the morning, instead of focusing on just MY rush to work.  By the time the alarm goes off, older brother is ready, willing, able, downstairs, setting the table, changed, and so on.  BUT, the younger brother likes to take...his...sweet...time.....

Okay, so he DID put his socks on....

If you've read some of the past posts, we're trying really hard to stay positive, and not do the yelling and the pressuring.  Little brother broke down last week wailing, "Why am I so sloowwww?"  I wanted to chuckle, but he was so genuine.  I bent down to his eye-level, hugged him, and said, "Some people take their time, and that's okay.  But you know what? You've got your brother, your dad, and me to help you out!  We're a team."  As soon as I said that, his shoulders relaxed and he continued on the morning routine.

It made me think of how in teams, people count on each other, and good coaches teach that.  Teammates work together to get to their goals.  It also makes me think that coaches have such a profound responsibility to help instill this value.  We're so lucky that we've encountered so many committed coaches (of course, there have been some of the others) that helped the boys improve their skills.

Jesse gets a pass from a teammate (Coach Dad taught them about transition offense)

Jason takes the shot after great passes from teammates (coach taught them to look for open teammates)

Hopefully, the boys will encourage and help their teammates, whether the team is their family, classmates, or even strangers.  And we want them to be thoughtful especially when encountering a situation where we may not be around to remind them.  Bury "boys will be boys."

Pushing towards happiness

Students oftentimes need a push, a nudge, even a shove (not literally) to achieve their goals.  It may be in the form of specific praise, encouraging words, a positive phone call home, constant feedback.  One behavior-tracking app a colleague just showed me was "Class Dojo," where the class can earn points for who's on-task. 

At home, these 'pushes' can be a little tricky.  When we had Jason, one of our hopes and dreams for him would be to have as many opportunities to explore his likes/dislikes, talents, interests, etc.  Well, the more we talked about it, the more we thought about the various ways parents go about this 'push.'  Some parents let the child explore on their own, with little intervention.  Other parents push their own interests on their kids.  Still other parents see what kids like, and help them pursue.

The Talent Code says that it takes 10,000 hours for someone to become an expert at something.  So, that means you start young.

My questions then become: how much do we push? When do we back off?  What regrets will we have later on?

Jason's basketball story: Even before he could walk, we would watch his dad play ball.  Soon, he got his first toy hoop and loved aiming, shooting, dunking.  Then came a bigger toy hoop, and eventually an outside hoop.  His focus and determination with every sport (as in a previous post) is evident.  We signed him up at the age of 4 for classes at the community center.  From there, he played in 2 non-competitive leagues, and honed his skills and strategies.  He loves playing with his friends and making new friends along the way.  Jason's favorite part of basketball is getting to the hoop and shooting.  He always keeps his head in the game.  His first competitive league this season could have gone better, but we're using it as a learning experience. 

Jesse's acting story: Summer of 2013, the Disney channel aired its version of "Grease"/"Back to the Beach": "Teen Beach Movie."  Singing and dancing to every song, Jesse made us smile.  We already knew that he picks up moves/songs easily, but this time, we saw this as an opportunity to cultivate this interest.  Browsing the local community center magazine, I came across a local theater company about to start a production, with rehearsals on Mondays and Wednesdays.  Jason's basketball practices are Mondays; how could we do both?

Two weeks later, a schedule change opened up, and we split up, taking the kids to their different activities.  Jesse had missed 5 rehearsals by this time; we knew he might not be as comfortable, having missed learning names, faces, rules, songs...  So we just wanted to see if this was something he'd like.  After roll-taking and a warm-up game, the "Nouns" song came on.  Jesse stood up with the rest of the class, looked to the kids on his right, and picked up the moves just like that!  His timing was a little off, but he was catching on quick.  By the third song, he was singing the word "Adjectives."  Adjectives!  We knew this was where he needed to be.

Both boys have expressed their continued interest in these hobbies.  If their interests change later on, we will support whatever makes them happy.  I will wonder, though, if they grow up and reflect, "I wish they had pushed me more."  Hopefully, we can continue pushing without shoving.  Bury "boys will be boys."