Speaking up and speaking out

Don't complain if you're not going to do anything about it. Solve your problem. Don't be a bystander.

In the classroom, a lot of learning happens, but also a lot of whining happens.

• I don't have a pencil. 
• He touched my shoe. 
• She made fun of the way I write.  
• He laughed at me.
• This is hard.
• I'm not good at writing.

Well, children, speak up.  To that person.  To yourself.  Figure out how to get past the problem. I respond by going to "growth mindset" (Google, read more here or here) and pointing to my classroom wall.  Students rephrase or ask a question to help themselves.

(Image from Google; variations of this are found in classrooms at our school)

At home, the boys can get under each other's skin.  The two of them mostly get along, but living with, playing with, sharing a room with, breathing with one another 24/7 is not always high-fives and hugs.  Jesse, being the younger, tries to play this card often: "I'm telling!" We hear that, and automatically say, "tell HIM, not us."  Tell him to stop ____; tell him you don't like that; tell him you'd rather play something else. Oh, and use a calm voice while you're at it.

Their out-of-town sleepover without us was our "test" to see if he could handle his brother being a "big bother" instead of "big brother." And the result: he's not there YET lol.

Jason with long hair when he became a "big brother."

We're glad Jason is one to speak up.  When a classmate said, "I can't run. I just can't do it!" and was about to give up, he and his friends cheered her on.  With encouraging words, she did it.

We're also glad Jesse's learning "growth mindset" strategies in his own classroom as well.  He even showed me the youtube video they watched found here.  We constantly talk and use language that helps him connect to different situations.

After Jesse's first round of frustration, Dad helped him aim.

Winning came from not giving up (and from our wallets lol)

There's always someone who plays harder than you, who runs faster, who writes better, who wins more.  If you're giving your best shot, then we're proud of you. If you speak up when something goes wrong, we'll back you up.  If you act with authentic kindness, we'll love that you listened. #buryboyswillbeboys

P.S.  more on growth mindset here

Adjusting for life's unexpected (or expected) curveballs

In the classroom, a teacher can have the most fabulous well-planned lesson-- researched, corresponded to Common Core standards, technology components embedded, multiple intelligences accounted for-- but, many times, ad libbing is just as important.  Having that lesson and objective in mind, of course, is key to great teaching.

When students are assigned a US state project, and hands shoot up volunteering to research Mexico (from two different people in two different classes!) or Las Vegas (!), the need to back up and go to their level is essential. Or, on the flip side, if students say that this story needs to be turned into a movie, questions like, "How would you change scenes to make it more entertaining?" or "Why do you think so?" helps build their critical thinking skills.

Adjusting the lesson for an unexpected question, or for more background knowledge, or for a need to simply say it a different way makes those imaginary lightbulbs in the air flicker brightly just a little more.


Just like at home, when something needs to be clarified, it is handled as soon as it comes up.  The longer kids wait to have the correct information, the longer their synapses are firing at the wrong nerves.  Jesse lost his first tooth recently, literally lost it.  He had the prior knowledge that he HAD to have the actual tooth in possession so the tooth fairy would exchange it for money.  Tears came, panic set in.  People at my house at the time had an understanding, and we all frantically searched the floor of every room.

After searching and not finding, we came up with a different plan: to write a letter.

We adjusted his thinking so that the next time he lost his tooth (which was the next day), and if he literally lost it again (which he did), he'd know what to do.

We're also lucky that we have coaches in our lives who are constantly adjusting the way the boys learn.  Here, Jason's coach gives him and a partner an extra challenge as they've already mastered the dribbling drill.

Whenever there is a need, adjusting the plans accordingly almost seems common sense.  But it does take some reflective thought, some action.  Our boys are surrounded by positivity that I'm sure they will bury "boys will be boys."