Choosing love

It's hard to "love" 12-13 year-olds. They roll their eyes, they mutter under their breath, they start using cuss words, they say things without really thinking..  Over all of that noise, I tell myself they are really just kids trying to find their place in the world.

A lesson is so over once the kids are not emotionally involved.  It takes a good eye to try to make real-world connections with some of the concepts we're expected to teach.  Blogger Jessica Lahey notes that "to help students learn, engage the emotions." By either connecting to the concept or the teacher, learning happens.

In the classroom, I've been called "Mom" on accident on more than a couple occasions.  The more I think about it, I'm okay with being a mom-figure.

At home, a different set of mom-moments are everywhere:

• Messy house, check

              
 (Jesse even named our couch "the laundry couch")

• Drawings on the fridge, check

• Accomplishments they're proud of, check

       

• Framed memories, check

             
         

• Mothers' Day presents, check

Physical evidence of a home that is filled with love.  As parents, we purposely provide experiences rich in learning.  We want our boys to use their emotions, test out their wishes, play with ideas.  My husband's advice for a new mom, my sister:

"Enjoy it all! Give her more experiences than she can handle!

All the extracurricular she wants! Be there for everything! Try to give her everything! Cherish all of it. Make yourself available to her! Tell her you love her all the time! Hugs everyday! Let her sleep with you until she's maybe 10yrs old (lol)! Drop her off at school! Help in her classroom! Laugh with her and at her! Let her laugh with and at you! Make her a daddy's and mommy's girl! Kids are our greatest inventions!

Make sure to always want to spend time with, teach, encourage, and love her! They grow too fast and if you miss any of it, you'll regret it! Jesse just woke up right now and is explaining (in his words) "that the short hand is approaching the 7 so it's still 6 and the long hand on 5 so it :25" Kids are the best! So forget "yourself" and give it to her! She'll need all the help she can get in our crazy world."

Making the world a better place starts with family values.  The proof is in the human beings that we are raising.  Bury boys will be boys.

Speaking positive words

Manners are constantly challenged by everyday actions, social media comments, Vines, vulgar music...it's everywhere!  In my classroom, there is no room for put-downs.  "Please" and "thank you" are words taught and used. Tier 2 academic vocabulary outweighs tier 1 everyday common words, slang included.  It is extremely difficult to enforce these ALL the time, but I'd like to think that I try to set up the atmosphere that is safe for the students to speak out without the fear of chastisement.  Middle school is a tough place.  My certain demographic for the last couple of years have shown me that these kids are really sensitive under all that tough exterior.

Our own kids are showing some qualities of spoiled brats, so we need to pause (#grandparentswillbegrandparents).  They recently received 'unbirthday presents,' and first reactions were not mannerous.  We did not like what we saw.

In raising two boys, we've tried to envision how we want them to be as grown men.

Here's our experiment: Invert negatives into positives.

1. Use the word "hate" less.  Jesse: "I hate these headphones!" --> "I like the other headphones better."
2. Nix "annoying."  --> Be specific.  "It's too loud."
3. Change "boring." --> What IS fun?  "I like doing the math page instead of the writing page."
4. Don't get so angry when you lose a game.  --> "Maybe I'll use Eye Brawl next time."  (Jesse was about to throw something at his brother for beating him at Skylanders.  I had him take a breath, and he came up with that on his own!  Yay.)
5. Get "anger" out of the control room.  'Inside Out' was SUCH A GREAT MOVIE!  We are constantly revisiting our emotions, and now that the boys have a visual, they can communicate their feelings so much better.  

They even created another emotion, Awesomeness:

This parenting advice article made me nod my head to myself.  #6: "Don't catch every fall" is a philosophy that we've used since the boys were babies.  But they do need guidance.  The boys are lucky (or unlucky mwaha) that summer is learning time.  Learning to be positive.  Learning to be nice.  Learning to be gentlemen.  Bury "boys will be boys."